I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
sex in a hospital.. check
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
