I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
