dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
that is very illegal...i love you.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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