Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
