Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
