You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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