Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Randomize
