She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
