I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
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