Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
