margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
