Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize