Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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