I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
