.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
