I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
