what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
