what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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