When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
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