i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
