I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
