; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
