i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
