scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
