do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize
