Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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