I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
