I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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