found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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