Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize