For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Randomize