I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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