We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
