I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
