Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
