physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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