actually, I'm a sock model
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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