I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Randomize
