I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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