we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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