i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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