We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
