ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
