Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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