i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
My breasts were aching with rage.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize