sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize