I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I think my vagina is haunted
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
