by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
