Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
we have officially lost it.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
you didnt know i had herpes?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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