There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
