Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
