Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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