Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
