Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I still have a little drunk in my system
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
