weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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