Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
