I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
