hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
