whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
