Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize
