ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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