i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Randomize
