Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
