that's an acceptable place to lick
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
