Only a mothe r could love this liver
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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